


The Huntress

by Sunrain126



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ancient Greek Religion & Lore Fusion, F/F, F/M, Gen, Idiots in Love, Love Triangles, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:15:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27219259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunrain126/pseuds/Sunrain126
Summary: Feyre wakes one morning to the call of the Mother, a benevolent goddess seeking balance in the new world the Night Court has created. Feyre Cursebreaker will have to become more than a High Lady to help her kingdom survive the next threat.
Relationships: Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Morrigan (ACoTaR)/Original Female Character(s), Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

Spring couldn’t come fast enough as far as I was concerned. Even in Velaris we had massive blizzards threaten the peace of a settled winter. Yesterday’s snow had fallen by the cart load, covering most of the city under a white blanket. I was sick of this perpetual winter. “Darling, I know you’re not a fan of winter, but can I please have my wing back?” Apparently I was wrapped in Rhysand’s wing, not my own shadows. I simply grunted and flopped over to let him draw it back, feeling colder without it. Something felt off as soon as I opened my eyes. I started seeing snow drifts and pines line the windows of our room, even though we were at least twenty feet off the ground. Rhys seemed unaffected, lazily tracing lines along my shoulders. “Rhys, do you see that?” He sat up and looked in the direction of my gaze. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he drawled, “everything seems the same as last night.”

For some reason I couldn’t shake off the chill in my bones. We’d always had blankets in this room, and yet last night remained cold. Even my toes had started to numb. “Alright, har har, you’ve had enough fun. Did you rope Nesta or Amren into this? Or Mor? Or Cas-” “Feyre darling I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” He sat up completely, all thoughts of a sensual morning gone from his side of the bond. Rhys then straddled me, gently cupping my face and flicking his eyes across my face. He moved on to the rest of my body, feeling my joints and neck for any issues. “And what do you think you’re doing? This is no time for role-playing nursemaid!” My anxiety continued to flare as he checked everything once, twice, three times. He even prodded along the mating bond, gently scraping on my mental shields. I shoved him off and watched him bounce off in surprise over the edge of the bed in a tangle of wings and bedsheets. I felt bad, but not bad enough to squander my new advantage. Immediately rising, I paced back and forth while trying to warm myself. Then I felt it.

A breath of wind caressed my cheek, reaching through me for something behind my mental walls. I saw Rhysand still flailing in his heap of limbs and brushed through our room and out the door. Civility was out the window now. The next few minutes were a blur. I scrambled for anything warm I could find, surprised by how little I had in that department. None of these clothes would protect me against the winds or cold I might encounter. I was now in a full blown panic, racing for anything weatherproof. If I didn’t find something soon, I was going to have put off my...my what? Suddenly I stopped. I looked up from a dresser in the hallway of our new townhouse to find myself naked and shivering. My hands froze, letting go of some worn leather gloves. Too bulky anyway, I said to myself. Better for gardening. Better for Elain. Elain! She would know where to find everything, she always knew my hiding places. Smiling, I headed back for my room.

Rhys met me at the door, finally freed from the sheets and blankets. “What the hell are you doing?!” I’d never heard him so strung out. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now move before I move you myself.” He was struck dumb at my words and threw his arms up. I slipped under them in an effort to avoid eyes. He stood in the doorway dumbfounded, muttering to himself and absently gesturing to the ceiling in some silent prayer to the Mother. I was already done putting on my underthings and just about to move onto my leggings when he finally found the words.

“Feyre Charona Archeron, I swear on the Mother and dare I say the Cauldron, I am finding myself repeating the same words: What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing.” His tone became more and more blunt as his face turned stoney. “What does it look like I’m doing?” “If I knew that I wouldn’t be asking.” “Fine. I’m going out.” Rhys looked at me as if I was the dumbest person on the planet. He said as much along the bond.

 _You are literally going to kill me. Someone who I love with all my heart is trying to drive me insane and kill me again_. He kept rambling along the bond in some inane effort to distract me. I huffed and turned to fully speak to him when I felt it again. Some pull deep in my chest. A ball of urgency lurched against my ribs. “I have to go. Help or don’t.” With that, I shrugged on a thick tunic and winnowed to Elain’s room.

Somehow I knew the way to Elain and yet I couldn’t keep track of my own thoughts. My drive for supplies drove every rational thought out of my mind. Nesta would be awake soon, and Elain not far behind. Breakfast will be easy, just venison and some simple biscuits from a surprise batch of flour given in pity from the local butcher… I trailed off in my own head as I drifted through shadows. Something still felt off, but I was sure it would be fine. Now to think about breakfast…

I finally found Elain’s mind among the shadows, along with a certain spymaster. I already knew about their social visits, but it was reassuring to know Azriel was comfortable with someone else. A tendril of gentle starlight flickered against Elain’s mental walls, and I waited for a response. It was entertaining watching them while the Az’s shadows danced along my fingers. I loved these little spies, and they brought some warmth to my poor feet.

I finished wrapping them in bows by the time Elain woke up and shook Azriel awake. Fear and embarrassment followed her surprise, but I promised secrecy. After all, it wasn’t my secret to tell. Azriel remained relaxed in bed while my sister put on a sweater and soft boots. I materialized, grabbed her hand, and winnowed to the kitchens. Elain waved Nuala and Cerridwen off as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. I noticed a yawn and laughed at her. “You act as though this is early! Haven’t you been sleeping enough,” I teased. Elain blushed but chuckled herself. I started frying thick slabs of bacon even though I had wanted some lean venison. Being too comfortable always rubbed me wrong.

“Watch the meat and I’ll get Nesta. I want to go over a few things before I leave.” “What are you-” I left before I could hear anything else, and felt around the estate for Nesta’s fiery mind. It seemed dimmer than normal, as if banked by a heavy heart. I’m sure it’s just one of her moods, nothing to worry about. I drove any thoughts of stalling out of my mind; I needed to get this meeting over with and Nesta may try to stop me. My eldest sister’s door materialized as I faded back into reality.

“Nesta, can I come in? I need to go over something with you and Elain.” Best to keep it short and sweet, I don’t need her throwing something. Which reminded me… Rhys, are you alright? I let the frantically buzzing bond tighten at the question. Waves of anxiety and confusion flew at my walls, and I let some through. Are you alright? What’s going on? His heart ached but I couldn't feel it over the growing weight in my chest; something was pushing me and I had to meet it. Shutting myself was hard but necessary to continue- if only Nesta would get out of bed. I knocked louder until deciding it would save me the sore hand to winnow in. I stepped through the shadows and slipped over to her bed. The covers were thrown off and I stopped. The thrashing thing leading me kicked up, but I had to pause. Nesta looked thin, skin the color of dried turnip. It took but a fraction of my power to lift her and gently carry her to the kitchen. _Winnowing always makes her cranky_ , I whispered, _and it is early after all_. She barely moved, as though she couldn’t be bothered to wake up. _Same old Nesta_.

Finally we made it to the kitchen, bacon and simple cakes waiting for us on the table. Elain had a pear in her hand, absentmindedly eating it. She seemed surprised to see Nesta in my arms, but set it aside to deal with me. I summoned a simple cot for Nesta by the warm stove, and she seemed to curl towards it. Elain loudly coughed in an attempt to get my attention. I tutted over Nesta for a few more moments, and turned to meet her uncertain expression. “Feyre, you know I love your, uh, cooking, but where is everyone else? And what exactly are we here for?” She seemed confused, especially when I met her with an equally confused face. “What do you mean? It’s telling us it’s time,” I said. She crossed her arms. I crossed my arms. She took a bite of biscuit and settled into her seat. “Anyway. Where is my gear.” Elain still didn’t know what I was talking about if her body language was any indication. Nesta briefly stirred at our voices but settled after we calmed down. “Fey-” “Don’t-” We both huffed. Elain hopped off her stool and looked for something her hands could worry over. I pushed forward and tried to communicate this seemingly simple thought. “Elain, I need my bow and my winter supplies. I don’t know how long or why but I need them.” She dropped her sachets of tea in surprise.

“Does the Inner Court know about this?” she questioned. I shrugged in an effort to be nonchalant but she saw right through it. She worried the bridge of her nose with her fingers. “Little sister… what has gotten into you? Did you get us up this early to avoid Nesta’s anger or the Inner Court’s worry? You know this isn’t going to go over well.” She had a point. But I couldn’t stop. “Elain, if I tell them, they’ll think there’s something wrong with me. You don’t, do you?” She couldn’t look me in the eye, fascinated by the steam coming off the kettle. The next thing I knew, footsteps thudded towards us. I whipped towards the door, then whispered at my sister. “Don’t tell them anything, I can’t drag them into it!” I may have spat the last part out.

First, Rhysand overshot the door and slammed in the hallway wall. Next, Cassian tripped on him. Azriel at least took his time, casually stepping over the two and grabbing an apple off the table. She looked at him, exchanging looks of bewilderment. Nesta still didn’t stir from her sleep. Cassian and Rhys shot up from the floor and immediately diverged to Nesta and I. Cassian bent down to her and seemed to check her vitals. What had happened in the last few months? I couldn’t hold a thought in my head long enough to understand it. Rhys crossed the room and stopped short; the unspoken pact of personal space during a crisis was well established. Please, he begged, please let me help. I couldn’t. Something walling me off from my court, but I couldn’t figure it out. My mate was suffering, he was begging- lucidity broke.

I knew it would only last a few moments. “Cassian, Azriel, wake up Amren. Elain, get Mor up and winnow back as soon as you can. I need you all here.” Rhys was frozen in place as everyone curved around him. I reached my hand out and he crumpled. I caught him, barely, and he pressed his face into my thighs. My beautiful, loving mate was being hurt by me. _I don’t have long_. He looked up sharply, fear glazing his eyes. _I don’t mean that, I mean_...what did I mean? I found no words to describe this feeling. _I need advice. Something is happening to me and I have no idea what. I’m seeing things, feeling things...I’m hurting you. Do you feel this too? Am I going mad_? He stood up and held me for the first time this morning. His wings curved in, protecting me from everything else. _I don’t think you’re crazy_ , he whispered down the bond, _I think you’re experiencing something profoundly different, and it pains me to see you bear it alone. I want to help. Will showing me help?_ How could either of us know?

I simply opened my walls and let him in. He observed nothing new, taking no notice of anything devastating. I gently showed him the center of this catastrophe. The pit in my chest had made its way into my stomach, a driving hunger for...something. I felt the chill of winter in my bones, the cascade of events that pushed me out into the wilderness for most of my life. There was a need to reclaim my woods and the wildness of my territory, to keep myself alive when the odds were against me. Rhys was as shaken as I was. I’ve never seen such hunger. This is old magic, Feyre. “Did I ever tell you who the Mother is to the Fae of the Night Court?” he asked. I could feel my clarity escaping, but I needed information. “No, never. Not even Amren mentioned her.” “The humans and even other courts like Summer and Spring believe her to be a benevolent force that guides us High and Lesser Fae. The Night Court feels there is more to the story though; she is our protector, a provider in the leanest of months. In some Illyrian circles, she is even thought to be the creator of wings and prey, our greatest assets. I’ve only heard legends, but some tribes felt she would gift a blessed every few generations to balance a great injustice. The last one was before even I was born, and because of your trials, she has deemed you worthy of this title.” I felt the reality of my situation settle between us. I was already a skilled hunter, a balancer of worlds. My mate would have to watch me be driven mad by a gift we never asked for. “What does this mean?” “It means you will be driven to hunt. I don’t think many of us have gone through a struggle like yours. My mate, my beautiful love, you are going to become a hunter again.” I shook my head. “No. I will become the Huntress.”


	2. Chapter 2

A few more minutes passed, dim winter sunlight coming in from the high windows of the kitchen. The fire warmed Rhys and I as we waited for our family. I looked up from his chest, leaning back to look him in the eye.  _ You know this changes nothing, right? This court is still my priority, just like my family _ . He looked confused.  _ It had never crossed my mind, darling _ . We came together again, gently swaying in his wings. Nesta began stirring from her sleep, stretching and curling back into a ball.  _ She is a cat. A literal mountain cat.  _ The bond bounced with Rhys’ inner laugh.

I bottled that sound in what little mind I still had. My family, my world would be cast aside to play a role I never wanted again. Tears gathered in my eyes. Instead of fighting it, I tried to focus on the smell of bacon and the warmth of my mate. He could feel my frustrations but followed my silent lead on ignoring the obvious. “Can someone explain why I’m sitting in the kitchen?” The silence was broken.

“Nesta, I need you to wait.” I refused to give her room in this discussion; I knew my sister. She huffed, mumbling under her breath about High Ladys and rude interruptions. When she stood, I could see her ribs from across the kitchen. How busy had I been these last few months? Starfall seemed like a lifetime away. The grump sat back down, curling against her pillow to wait for the rest. Even after all these years she still carried this habit.Laughter bubbled up and I caught myself smiling at her sleeping back.

Cassian, Mor, and Amren winnowed in and Rhys opened his wings to acknowledge them. We stayed embraced, but gave everyone our attention. Azriel followed soon after, walking down the stairs soundlessly. I took a deep breath and stepped away from Rhys. “I called everyone for this meeting because I am leaving,” I said. The room exploded into chaos.

Amren was silent as ever, but I could see the dangerous twitch in her hands. Mor was throwing questions at me and gesturing wildly around, barely missing poor Azriel’s face. The spymaster looked curious but I could feel his shadows whipping anxiously. Elain simply sat down next to Nesta and leaned into the warmth of the fire. Cassian was the worst. He railed against Rhys of all people, thinking he had pushed me away. I held my hand up, signalling for a cease fire. “Stop,” I murmured. “This isn’t about any of you or Rhys. I need to leave the court for a while, and I’m only going to say that.” I didn’t mention that was all I could say. Rhys could explain more later with my blessing. “This is by no means a permanent thing. But I need you all to trust me. I know you all love me and this court, and I’m asking a huge favor from you, but can you take my place?” I was shaking by this point, but my hands clenched against the rising panic. Azriel was the first to speak up. “As long as I don’t have to sleep with Rhys I think we can manage,” he said. Elain snickered and Cassian tried to hold back a laugh under his frown. Red siphons glared as he took three steps towards me. He looked me in the eye. “My lady, what are you asking from us?” I stared back at him and simply said, “I need you to take care of the Night Court. I need you to take care of Rhys.” That was enough for him. The brother I had never grown up with knew my soul almost as well as my mate. Azriel nodded once as welI. The three of us understood each other the most. There was some deep soul bond that marked us as the fringe children, raised by wolves in the deep winters of nature.

Nesta finally sat up and gave me her attention. Elain was shoved off the cot onto the wooden floor. Mor helped Elain up, giving my oldest sister a dirty look. Nesta ignored her. “You’re going on a hunt aren’t you?” Nesta asked. “I thought you were past this. We don’t need anything from you anymore.” I sucked on my cheek as she revealed my minor secret. Mor and Amren exchanged a look. Cassian and Azriel both seemed fascinated with the floor as Rhys sighed. Elain finally spoke up.“Feyre, for the sake of everyone here, please don’t leave. Nesta’s right, this is unnecessary. Don’t-” It was like the idea of putting me out into the wild was unheard of before. We had since moved forward from this issue, forgiving our father and settling the anger in our hearts. Did they think I still resented them? _You know they care about you. Now that they aren’t put under a constant threat of death, they can’t help but want to take care of you._ Rhys only knew some of my story and he still understood it better than my sisters.

In this case, the only thing I could think to do was promise gifts. “Elain, Nesta. If I promise to bring you something, anything you’d like, what would you say then,” I pleaded. “I need this.” They remembered the game we played as young children, promising gifts instead of lives. If I could stay alive long enough to gather trinkets, I would be alive to bring them home. Money created value in our home, and I thought I knew exactly what my sisters had valued at the time. Nesta’s shaking shoulders reigned me in from my dark thoughts. Elain looked over with a scowl on her face. “What are you laughing about?!” she shrieked. Nesta looked up and I saw tears streaking down her face. “I want the finest pinecone you can find, little sister. The bigger the better, and don’t give me something covered in sap.” Amren and Mor were thoroughly lost now, looking back and forth between the three of us as we broke down. I dropped to my knees. I grabbed Nesta’s whole body and gestured for Elain to do the same. We bent our heads together. “Tell me what you want Elain or you’ll be jealous for weeks,” I whispered through the tears. “I want… I want… I want a seed from the biggest maple you can find. When it grows we can make candied apples like we used to.” I threw my head back and laughed.

I noticed Cassian was crying. “Come here, oh Great General,” I said. He slammed into the old wooden boards, nearly cracking them with his force. The Illyrian draped himself over Nesta to my right, who didn’t seem to notice. Rhys stood behind me, sheltering me with his wings and shadows. Azriel joined us on my left, using his shadows to rub gentle circles into Cassian’s neck and Elain’s upper arm. Mor flopped down. I was half drowned by blonde curls and her latest perfume. Amren, ever the rock, simply placed her hand on my head and gently curled her fingers into my scalp. I knew this was as much for them as it was for me. We had had so few moments of peace. But the pulsing drive was back. I needed to leave my family again, for something as selfish as this feeling.  _ Following your heart isn’t selfish. Before you start off, may I ask for a gift?  _ The bond seemed to be our major source of communication these days.  _ Anything for my Lord _ , was my gentle reply.  _ May I be allowed to check on you? _

This question was loaded with hope. How could I refuse him? _Of course_ , I purred. Taking a slightly more innocent turn, I suggested someone could check on me whenever. I didn’t think I would be so far from Rhys that he wouldn’t be able to find me. Even Mor, with her warm weather predilections could find me. _I make no promises on my mindset. I don’t know if I will become something entirely new all over again._ I sounded nervous even in my own head. _I will still love you if you grow tusks and fly with wings made of bones. I will still look for you even if you are hidden. All this and more, darling._ He filled my heart and head with love and reassurance. I tilted my head back against his thighs, shifting Amren to my shoulder, and let a few tears of love wash down my face. He wiped away every one of them.   
  


I was ready. I let each of my gifts loose; starlight to calm, fire to warm, Illyrian wings to hold, ocean breeze to comfort, wind to support them, reassurance to fortify, and knowledge that I would be relying on them. Mor was usually the weepiest of us all, but her cousin and his brothers were a close second today. Amren was getting ready to leave the room with my sisters. My sanity was beginning to loosen as they all straightened off the floor. I addressed them one last time.

“I am leaving today. I love you all with every fiber of my being, and I promise I will come back.”

  
  


  
  



	3. Chapter 3

I left the kitchen with a purpose. They had all stayed to sort their own things. I didn’t want them to see me fall into my new mask; Rhys covered for me, nearly having to order everyone to stay away until I had gone. He gave me a map to the weapons room in our home, one I wasn’t aware existed. The only rule I had ever enforced in my home was the proper management of weapons. No bows, knives, or battle axes allowed left around. I might as well train them before we had any small children join the family. Tucked behind the cellar’s wine and brandy supply was a simple wooden door. I felt some of Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel’s magic hum along the frame, but it gave way easily under my hand.

I don’t know what I expected, but neat rows of every kind of weapon welcomed me. I saw maces, daggers, and what must have been fifty bows stacked along the small back wall. Swords of varying sides greeted my left, and a menagerie of random weapons lined the right wall. A square wooden table held the only mess in the room, stacks of sharpening tools and dirty rags obscuring the grain. I raised my hand to my forehead in awe, and drew back my hand in disgust. The sweat on my brow was a sign I needed to hurry this along. “Which to pick, which to pick?” The hunter in me grabbed dozens of arrows, two bows, and multiple daggers, items never had at my disposal before. I hoped I would be able to come back at some point, but my dwindling presence of mind warned me that would be difficult. Suddenly I was at a loss. Where would everything go? I started to panic, dropping knives and arrows everywhere. 

Flapping canvas and falling stones halted my frenzy. I looked at the table to find a simple cloth satchel. I knew who had sent it, and I felt a proud joy along the bond. _You shouldn’t have_ , I teased. He was more smug than usual. _Who else would I allow among my personal armory? Besides, you looked like you needed a new wardrobe. I also might have included a few enchantments on the bag to bring some gifts home_. He was perfect and I had no trouble telling him. I stripped and reached inside the bag. I found leggings, furs, boots, anything I hoped for appeared. A few enchantments indeed. 

Finally I was ready. Honestly, I don’t know how much longer I could have kept the tidal wave of energy back. I walked out of the room armed to the teeth, climbing out of the cellar through a small hatch that opened into the estate grounds. The sun was shining off the new snow and the birds were calling softly in the woods. I was ready. 

I felt my eyes shift to the woods surrounding Velaris. My bow hugged the leathers and furs I had draped along my shoulder. I summoned a snow wolf to protect my back as I started the long trek to the Illyrian mountains. My bones told me that was the first place to go, somewhere as wild and untamed as this motivation. Perhaps I needed a name for this fire in my chest; it had morphed from a simple fever to an inferno. My first goal was to sustain it and m yself.

The woods offered protection from predators and sheltered me from my prey. Long winters spent starving had never sparked this joy in me. I sought to make snowshoes from anything I could find. Before I would have traded a year’s worth of pelts for ash but my new ‘condition’ prevented this. It took me a whole day to remember a technique from Isaac: his grandparents had been avid hunters, using snowshoes built from whole birch trees. I could easily bend the small trees I found deeper in the forest, but it would take a few days to procure and dry the needed rawhide.

Shelter was a must. Everywhere across the continent caves crisscrossed and connected. My gut told me I would be vulnerable hiding from the unknown like that, so I went with the next best thing. Trees.

I wandered along the mountain ridge following the sea from Velaris, feeling no desire to run. The mountains outside of the city had long been a subject of my paintings, and experiencing them was transcendent. Did I know what that word meant? Who knew. The animals I passed weren’t right for my project, but I found plenty of meat in the ptarmigans and rabbits. I needed to preserve the fat on my body and maintain my muscle, and these did little to inspire that. It had only been half a day since I had left the comfort of my home, but my mind was almost completely gone. All I knew was the earth, wind, and trees surrounding me. I was lucky to find a tree high enough in the forest surrounding a particularly ferocious mountain trio. I’m going to call them the Three Brothers after my Illyrians.

Speaking of which. High along the peak of ‘Cassian’, I saw a figure circling. If only they had been more subtle, I may have deigned to make myself known. The game of survival was more fun than I remembered. But cocky thoughts get you killed in my territory- when had it become _my_ territory? Another question to ponder when I gained more control. I had told Rhys the vague direction of my journey, but I didn’t give details. He must have gathered my plans when he saw the mountain ranges between me and the Steppes. He had some survival instinct in him, but not enough to know this wasn’t the time for babysitting. I scoffed to the woods around me. Like I would need rescue this early. I ducked into a thick cropping of stone and fir trees. My outfit was dark and speckled like the forest floor around me.

It was hilarious to watch the bat-winged figure circle, but I doubted it was Rhysand. He would have used the bond to locate me, or called out to announce himself. Azriel would use shadows...that left Cassian. Overbearing brother. Not that sisters were any better, but Nesta with wings would have been the ultimate combination. 

I came back to myself as the figure turned off in the direction of Velaris. Perhaps to wait me out or to simply report nothing out of the ordinary. I suspect this mission was unsanctioned by his High Lord. Oh well, at least I could continue. I needed to set up camp and find something filling. The best prey this far north had to be big, or I would starve to death. No matter how much meat I ate, I still needed fat. I moved closer to the ridge’s bottom, where a massive lake sprawled. Crystal clear and full of vegetation, I knew I could find ample prey here. Nothing on the trees I had passed on my way down, but broad leafed oaks had signs of rubbings. Massive rubbings I grazed my finger tips over to judge the depth. I was busy assessing a particularly deep cut when a twig popped behind me. 

I had only encountered a moose once. A mortal animal that was easily the size of my old cottage. This animal was as far from that as I was from a human. A massive crown of antlers adorned his head, sharp enough to gut me. A solid near-black body that could have crushed even Cassian slowly stepped towards me. His hooves had death written all over them: sharp and wide, they completed the impressive creature I knew would sustain me. I positioned myself on the balls of my feet, one knee up to propel me up the tree or at the beast.

The next few minutes were a blur. I knew this was always going to be a different fight, but my Fae body continued surprising me. I drew a blade out of the side of my boot, a wicked thing with a solid bone handle. WIth this moose, I could prepare for the heavy snows of the Illyrian Steps and feed myself along the way. One breath in, one breath out. I charged.


	4. Chapter 4

. Feyre left before any of us could say another word. I knew she was struggling with leaving. Az caught my eye as we finally left the kitchen and herded the females towards the sitting room. His shadows were thicker, anxious looking and ready for action. “I have some ideas,” he whispered. “What are you talking about? Dinner?” He sighed and shook his head at my, admittedly, dim question. “No, I’m talking about dealing with Rhys and the rest of them. We need to keep an eye on our High Lady too.” I nodded, signalling for silence until everyone occupied themselves. Rhys was already a lost cause, disappearing into the house to sulk. How the hell he made it through 400 ish years without Feyre was baffling. Nesta, Elain, and Mor were talking in hushed tones in an attempt to stay under our radar. I could already tell Amren was planning on tailing Fey. Nesta looked like she wanted to walk out after her sister, but there was too much history there to get myself involved in. Too much history indeed. They’ve got their hands full. I spaced out on the couch to the sounds of Az and the women trying to cheer up. Amren slid next to me.

“So who goes first?” she muttered, turning her head towards me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Tiny One.” I was reluctant to involve her in Az and mine’s plan. “Don’t play dumb or any dumber than usual. I’m reluctant to admit we both know better.” She turned back to Mor, Nesta, and Elain, the three playing some kind of card game. Watching was going to become our new job with a missing High Lady. “Az is going to trail her with his shadows and I’m going to check on the Steppes more often. If we get too close, we’ll regret it.” Amren grunted in agreement. She was showing no sign of stress, but we both knew this was going to strain everyone.

“I’m going to check on Rhys. Don’t let them draw blood.” A nod and something resembling a smile, and I was gone. The trails of night thickened the close I got to the master bedroom. Glass shattered and someone let out a string of curses.  _ His mother would’ve washed his mouth out and held back dinner.  _ What would his mother have done if she knew Feyre? Probably go with her to have a girl’s weekend. I barged in, not bothering to knock or announce myself. “Stop whining. Let’s do something fun,” I called out. Another curse and shuffling came from the bathroom, and Rhys stumbled out. He was covered in some type of perfume. “Rhys, I mean this as a friend, but I think this is getting weird.” He flicked off some of the offending liquid, sending a glare my way. “I realize this is weird, I was trying to wash my face and somehow it fell off the counter.” He stuck his tongue out and flipped me off. I refrained from immediately jumping on jim in retaliations. Fey at least deserved a mate in one piece, even if she had left him for me to watch. Rhys looked at me again; he looked offended that I was in his room. “If you wanted to smell like yout mate, you could’ve spared the rest of us the horror. Be a Fae and work on a solution.” I can’t believe I’m the adult now. The High Lord was still silent, but he finally snapped out of it. “Cassian, where would you like me to start? Perhaps Amren, but wait- she has no idea, and she’s older than anyone else in Prythian!” he yelled the last part, and we were back to the same look of woe. “Then let’s look for something else. You can’t just let her get possessed and do nothing!” I was yelling now too. 

He crossed the room, letting his wings settle on his back. I stepped up, shoving my face up to his. “I’d never give up on her! I refuse to stop helping her, but this isn’t something to rush into! What if she gets hurt by us interfering?” Rhys flared his wings with every exclamation, and by the end of his triade, he was throwing his hands up too. I needed him to let it out or it would fester among us until Feyre came back. “Let us do this with you,” I said. “Let us help her too.” My brother and best friend lost his energy. “Alright. What did you have in mind?”

I repeated what Az and I discussed, and Rhys contributed. We would circle above the Illyrian Steppes, but Az would need to give the High Lady a wide berth. “We still have no idea what has her under this spell and I won’t risk her and Az to find out. You’ll go out the most, but don’t be conspicuous,” he grumbled. We had our brother and leader back. 

I left for the Steppes the next morning. If I was going to have any hope of locating her, I needed to start thinking like her. I tried to imagine liking Rhys enough to kiss his ugly mug, but just made myself laugh.  _ Hmmm…what do I know about Feyre? _ It was strange only knowing someone for a few years and yet that was a large chunk of her life. She still had some issues with the Fae aspects of her new life. Az and I had found her looking at our ears, of all things. Rhys had let it slip that she could shapeshift… did she ever turn back into a human? Sometimes the world was cruel, I supposed. 

I made it to the first set of ominous mountain ranges in the Night Court’s territory. Massive peaks touched the sky, occasional goats and snow drifts lining the summits. The steepest one provided a welcome distraction, and I played along the air currents. Feyre was nowhere to be seen. Rhys and Az both felt she was in this general area. It felt a little unfair to send me out with no idea what to look for, but I secretly thought Feyre was smarter than all of us; a young girl had kept a family of four alive comparably longer than any of us had been on our own. I loved Nesta, but motherly or warm were not accurate descriptors. Even Elain was a tad fluffy emotionally. I loved my High Lady because she understood what it took to be alive. We often bonded over attitude and sass, but she held an inner strength to rival an Illyrian. Az liked her too: she had given us back Rhys. Our family owed her a life debt and she didn’t even know it.

If there were tears along my lashes, only the wind and my heart knew. I banked once more around the massive peak, and headed for Velaris. Rhys would probably be able to sleep tonight knowing she wasn’t dead on the side of a mountain, or at least not one I saw. A morbid thought that kept me focussed on the ground a little harder.

Velaris was in sight, and I landed at the family estate before sunset. It wasn’t as exhausting as it used to be after the war, but my wings still twinged after a stiff flight. Smells of dinner led me back to the kitchen. Cerridwen and Nuala had outdone themselves yet again. They reminded me that everyone would be there soon, so I only stole a roll to tide me over. A slap on the wrist sent me out to the dining table, crossing paths with Elain and Mor. They were deep in thought, but looked up quickly in anticipation. Mor must have alerted Rhys somehow, because he, Azriel, and Amren winnowed into existence. Only Nesta was missing. _I don’t think she’s taking this well_. Elain caught my eye and gently shook her head, mouthing the word asleep. I sighed. 

“Anything to report, Cass?” Mor asked. She was practically vibrated, and Rhys sat up a little straighter. “Nothing, but I’m nearly certain it’s because she doesn’t feel like being found. She knows how to survive, and it’s not deep winter down in the valleys. I think she’ll come out when she’s ready or aware enough.” I ended my report with a half smirk at my High Lord. He needed to realize whatever this power was, Feyre was going to make it hers. I couldn’t accept anything else; he shouldn’t either. A scrape of claws against my shields. I rolled my eyes and allowed him to speak in private.  _ Do you really believe that?  _ He asked.  _ I do. Because if I don’t...I don’t think I want to deal with Feyre kicking my ass from here to the Spring Court. She’s too strong to let this kill her.  _ It felt truer saying it between us than feeling it alone. Everyone at the table relaxed once Rhys did and began eating. Small rolled through the room as dinner wrapped up. 

I snuck off for wine and brandy, coming back to a quiet table. “Don’t tell me you guys missed me?” Joking was easier than confronting the naga in the room. They all appreciated it enough to smile back. I poured drinks all around, and led a toast to our High Lady. “May she find her way and kick any animal’s ass!” A rousing cheer followed. The first day was done, and nearly everyone was still together. Nesta would likely find me after everyone else went to bed for privacy. I looked forward to listening to her vent, my beautiful maybe-mate leaning on me. That was another issue for later. Until then… bottoms up. 

  
  


  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted work, and I look forward to seeing where it lands. I have a basic outline, and I'm liking where it's going.


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